The Mum Edit: Dear Mum

Dear Mam,

We can talk all night about the issues in the world. How they could be solved. How they happened. How it affects us.

We can discuss our pasts, our presents, and our futures. Me saying "What if?". You say "But really...".

We can look at life with less judgment, less cynicism and less despair than we used to.

All because we were on a journey.

We were on a journey of self-empowerment, self-love and for me personally, letting go of the idea that is "perfection".

As I've said before, I know I was never the perfect daughter. As we all had the rebellious stage regardless if we care to admit it or not.

(I mean, when else would I dye my hair red/black/purple and pretend I was Joan Jett?)

I've also said that I know (and perfectly at peace with) that I will never be the perfect mother.

Knowing fine well that there will be times I'll be crying on my kitchen floor with you, 3 glasses into a bottle of cabernet (1 bottle per child I may add) hiding from my mini dictators while apologizing for any time I was a little shit to you.

I know that I'll never be the Martha Stewart mum who bakes well, has her shit together and manages to be the president of everything involved with their kids. Because I can't bake, and I have no desire to learn.

I know that one day I will look into the eye of a fellow mother who, like myself, is 70% dry shampoo and 30% hopes and dreams, stressed beyond all means. I'll look into her eyes and give her the nod and smile that we all know and let her know that "Bitch, I got you. You're rocking it".

I'm going to make mistakes, and I'm going to make many. I'm going to buy cupcakes from Asda and give them to the Bring and Buy sales. I might have last nights pizza for lunch (Who am I kidding...there's never leftover pizza). I might have days when it gets too much and I'll decide it's takeout for dinner (again).

But one thing I've learned is that I'm going to have fun. Lots of it. I'm going to revel in letting go of perfect and rolling up my sleeves with my kids, with you by my side. I'm going to laugh till it hurts (or wee...let's be real here). I'm going to love till my heart bursts. I'm going to cry with pride and joy over what we've achieved. And I'm going to enjoy every moment.

I've watched everything you've done, taught and lived with me. I've listened to your every word (maybe except those said when I was 15 to 17, okay maybe till I was 19) and took it on board. I've lived for every snow angel, midnight picnics, spontaneous trips and craft days that I've had since I was walking, and I can't wait to re-live it all over again.

I've seen you through unbearably tough times, horrendous situations and events that we hoped and prayed we would never see. I've cried with you, drank many, many bottles of wine with you, and stood by your side through everything, and that's never going to change.

Your strength, your determination, and your love have shown me that no matter what life throws at you, we can handle anything. You've shown me how to develop my own ideas, my opinions and form a view of the world that I've researched until I am satisfied. But most of all you've taught me to respect other people's opinions, even if it meant putting my own agenda last, and encourage those to educate and learn.

You've shown me unconditional love to all the people in your life. You've shown me how to pick myself up, time and time again and rebuild my life every time it's knocked down.

You've shown me that I have a right to stand up for my rights as a woman and that it is important to support those regardless of race, gender or other stereotypes place upon us.

You've encouraged me to form my own place in this world. To make a drop in the ocean. To make noise in a world polluted with political and racial violence. You've taught me how to stand up for myself and others, and to never take shit undeserved.

But no matter what, you've shown me how to show compassion and love in a way like no other. You've shown me that even when life throws a curveball, you can turn it into something positive.

You are the most selfless person I know. Giving up everything time and time again to help others and expecting nothing in return.

You've stood by my side through depression, family shifts, death, break-ups, make-ups, the highs and the lows and the days where it gets too much and all it needs is a cry and a glass of wine. Okay, a few glasses of wine.

Mam, you inspire me every day and in every way. I can't put into words how proud I am of you. I can't thank you enough for how much you have helped me and loved me. You'll say it's your job to do those things, but we all know you go above and beyond.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. If I'm even just half the mum you are then I'm on to a good thing.

But as much as that has been said, I'll still never forgive you for this picture:

Happy Mother's Day Mum - I love you most x

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